The Woman in My Home: A brand-new, utterly compelling domestic suspense thriller by C.R. Howell

Author:C.R. Howell [Howell, C.R.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Joffe Books psychological thrillers, suspense and crime
Published: 2024-05-30T00:00:00+00:00

Twenty-Three

“I was wondering,” said Ben at our next session. “Did you ever want to call Jude something else?”

I looked at him. “Like Mum, you mean?”

“Along those lines.”

“She always told me I could. She wanted me to. She actually wanted to adopt me. But she couldn’t afford it.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean she would have lost the money she got for fostering me. She couldn’t afford that.”

He watched me for a moment. “How did you feel about that?”

“It was fine. It’s not like I was treated differently. I remember I was in Aldi with Chris once. He was Jude’s biological son. She had him when she was really young, before she started fostering. He had just passed his driving test and his dad had bought him a car. Jude was furious about it — you know, because his dad didn’t see him for months and then he’d suddenly get him an expensive present. Anyway, Chris drove me into town to get a McDonald’s. We stopped at Aldi and there were these Mother’s Day cards. Chris picked one up — I remember he didn’t even look at the card, he just picked it up because he had to get one — and when he put it on the belt, I was looking at it and he said, ‘That’s from both of us.’”

“That was important to you,” Ben said. “To be included with him?”

“Yeah. I think I remember that day because of the new car and how Chris seemed different, grown up. He had his keys in his hands. That was how I thought of grown-ups, always holding their keys.”

“How old were you?”

“I don’t know. Seven or eight.”

“Did you ever feel angry?”

“Angry?” I said. “With who?”

“Jude? Chris?”

“Why would I be angry with them?”

He shrugged. “For being a family. For choosing not to adopt you.”

“It wasn’t a choice,” I said. “She couldn’t afford it.”

“But she could afford to look after Chris. Why not you?”

“That’s not really fair. She had Chris first, way before she fostered me.”

“I know,” he said. “I still think you’d be entitled to feel angry.”

“I never felt angry with them,” I said, though I felt angry now. Angry with Ben for saying these things. “Is that the point of therapy, making you angry about things you don’t even care about? Making you think you’re a victim?” I was surprised when I said this, how aggressive I sounded. I never talked to anyone that way, especially not Ben, who was so kind to me.

“No. That’s not the point of therapy.”

“It was Abi who was angry.”

“Abi?”

“My foster sister. She was with us for years, almost as long as me. Jude wanted to adopt her, too, but Abi said she wouldn’t want that anyway.”

“Why didn’t she want that?”

“Because she was obsessed with her mum. She was always going back to her, trying to get her to like her. I think she thought that if she was adopted, then, I don’t know—”

“Her mother would have an excuse to stop seeing her.”

“Exactly. Stupid.”

“Stupid why?”

“I mean, if your mum is like that, why cling on? Just give up.

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